


an overdue discussion

by crm16



Series: Talking around the issue [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Robb in memory only, ramsay bolton is mentioned frequently but not discussed in detail, to the best of my knowledge at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 04:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13733673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crm16/pseuds/crm16
Summary: The memory of Robb is a gulf between them





	an overdue discussion

**Author's Note:**

> This is set a few weeks after Theon returns to Dragonstone, but before Daenerys returns, and before Jon gets any news about Bran's return to Winterfell.

They avoid each other, for the most part. Jon had been... not exactly lying, but perhaps overstating matters, when he told Greyjoy that saving Sansa was the only reason that Jon wasn't killing him. He didn't plan to, or frankly want to, kill Theon. But that didn't mean the two of them could be in close quarters without it coming to blows. It was difficult enough to manage when they were boys, before the years of festering betrayal and murder between them. Sansa's rescue and the discovery of Bran and Rickon's, though only Bran's now, survival had lessened it somewhat, but Jon still thought it best to keep a wide berth. Lest he be the cause of a political incident. 

Greyjoy seemed to be of a similar thinking, as he made a hasty retreat from every room Jon entered. It echoed, eerily, Jon's own actions when they were younger. It had been far easier for Jon to avoid the other boy than stay in his company, unless Robb was around to buffer Greyjoy's sharper edges. The similarity might be humorous, under different circumstances. Little was humorous under the current ones. 

Jon's been trying not to think of Robb, since Greyjoy arrived, for multiple reasons. Theon's betrayal still filled him with a rage he wasn't sure he could contain, and (perhaps more importantly) he imagines Robb would be displeased with him; both for threatening Theon, and for ignoring him in the aftermath.Robb had always had a soft spot for him, in truth is was unlikely even the betrayal would have been an unforgivable offense, and it didn't take a particularly perceptive eye to see that Theon was in bad shape. Both from his time at the hands of Ramsay, and the guilt that was so obviously eating him alive. If Jon thought of that too much, or about how sad Robb would be to see him in such a state, he'd be sorely tempted to forgive him. And Jon was not ready for anything approaching forgiveness.

After about a week of keeping their distance, though, Jon knows some sort of interaction is unavoidable. The tension has become unbearable, and they'll need to be able to interact civilly when Daenerys returns, better to get things settled now. Besides, his internal conversations with Robb had become so normal in his life, that avoiding it now is nearly impossible (it's laughable really, being unable to avoid something he'd made up in his own head), and Jon misses it.

_Fine! _he thinks irritably at last, and stalks off to find Greyjoy. He imagines Robb would be smug.__

____

...

____

Theon's very good at making himself scarce. It is an ability born of necessity, and a skill that saved his life on more than one occasion. But even so, it is impossible not to cross paths with Jon Snow every so often, and when that happens he does his level best to vanish as quickly as possible. 

____

The weeks on dragon stone, awaiting the Queen's return, have been long ones. Theon simmers in never ending guilt over Yara's capture, and with Jon in the castle he finds it increasingly difficult to speak to Robb as he usually would. Jon Snow is an ever present reminder that if Robb were alive, or even able to hear Theon's internal monologues, he'd want nothing to do with him. So Theon is left, skulking around the castle in a way that is horribly and uncomfortably reminiscent of a time he'd much rather forget.

____

The weight of it has been hard. He struggles to hold his identity steady when it would be so so easy to let it slip away, as he had on the ship the night Yara was captured. He's taken to walking the cliffs of the small island to remind himself that he can still choose where he goes, and to further his attempts at avoiding Jon Snow, whose threat still rings in Theon's head. 

____

Ironically, it is on the cliffs that Jon Snow finds him. For a moment Theon thinks he's decided to kill him after all, for a moment Theon thinks he might let Jon do it. But Jon raises his hands placatingly, and the look on his face is more annoyed resignation than fury. It is an expression that Theon is infinitely familiar with, though it has been years since he's seen it and Jon has grown a great deal in the interim. _Some things never change, I suppose _, he catches himself thinking to Robb, and the guilt that hits him nearly knocks him over.__

______ _ _

Jon startles a bit at whatever face Theon makes because of it. He takes a hesitant step forward, and away again. 

______ _ _

"I- do you have a... moment? I'd like to speak with you."

______ _ _

...

______ _ _

Greyjoy's face smooths out after a moment, into the vaugue, blank, look Jon's seen him wear most of the time since his arrival. Though the memory of the previous one has burned its way into Jon's head. He'd looked like he was in physical pain. Jon wonders if it was fear on his face, wonders specifically if it was fear of him. He finds it a strangely uncomfortable idea.

______ _ _

"Y- yes. I've got... you can. Yes." Theon mummbles. 

______ _ _

Jon pauses for a moment, "I thought it would be better if... we could be a little more civil with each other. Before the Queen's arrival. We wont be able to avoid each other forever. And I just... I've no intention of killing you. I was angry, I am angry. But i'm not going to kill you."

______ _ _

Theon glances at his face for a moment, and away just as quickly. 

______ _ _

"Alright." He replies. 

______ _ _

Jon nearly leaves after that, but Greyjoy looks like a stiff wind would send him into pieces, and he cant quite make himself go. _The things I do for you Robb, I swear_ he thinks. 

______ _ _

"And I am grateful... for what you did for Sansa. I know it could not have been easy." He adds, after a moment.

______ _ _

"Is she safe, at Castle Black? You left the knight woman with her, to look out for her?"

______ _ _

"She's at Winterfell, not Castle Black." Jon replies off handedly, "But yes, Brienne is wi-" Theon cuts him off, head snapping up.

______ _ _

"How could you send her back there? Don't you have any idea of what he'll do to her?" Theon demands, wildly.

______ _ _

"What do you mean how could I-" And suddenly Jon realizes what's going on, "Didn't Daenerys tell you?"

______ _ _

"Tell me what?" Theon asks, cautiously, his eyes holding steady on Jon's face for the first time.

______ _ _

"Theon... There was a battle, we've taken back Winterfell. I was crowned King in the North. Sansa's there ruling, while I'm away." Jon tells him, watching him carefully.

______ _ _

Theon's eyes drop to the ground again.

______ _ _

"And R-Ramsay?" He asks haltingly, like he's afraid of the answer.

______ _ _

"He's dead." 

______ _ _

...

______ _ _

Theon's knees give out suddenly. Dead. Dead. Ramsay Bolton is dead. It... isn't possible. Ramsay Bolton is the monster that stalks every dark part of Theon's mind, that he died (months ago from the sound of it) and Theon remained unaware seems to far fetched to be believed. Theon had been convinced, in some way, that he was unkillable. Surely it is a mistake, surely he escaped, and is coming even now, to take back what's his. Theon does not get to be lucky enough to be rid of him, does not deserve it.

______ _ _

"You're s-s-sure?" He manages to spit out, he realizes that he's shaking, face twitching ever so slightly, the walls he built around Reek in his mind cracking at the shock.

______ _ _

"I- Yes, Yes I'm sure. Sansa she-" Jon stops, he sounds startled, concerned even.

______ _ _

"T-Tell me." Theon demands.

______ _ _

"She fed him to his own dogs." 

______ _ _

Theon makes a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. It's true. He's finally, impossibly free of the man who broke him so thoroughly. The relief is staggering.

______ _ _

It takes him a moment, but Theon eventually collects himself. He stands, a little unsteadily, and faces Jon, though he won't meet his eye.

______ _ _

He doesn't know what to say now. It feels like his entire world has been shattered and reformed in the space of a minute. But all his crimes still stand.

______ _ _

"You're king?" He asks, remembering that bit of information quite suddenly. It's a strange thought, Jon Snow as King in the North. Theon resists the urge to ask Robb's opinion on the matter. He wouldn't be able to even guess at what Robb would think about it, anyway.

______ _ _

Jon sighs, "It would appear so." He sounds resigned. Which is as much of a surprise as it isn't. Jon, as a boy, had longed to belong in Winterfell. He'd worn the desire on his sleeve, everyone who saw him knew it. Who would belong in Winterfell more than the King in the North? But he's changed a great deal in the past few years, and Theon knows the realities of ruling are far less glamorous than young boys could imagine. He'd seen a similar resignation in Robb once, when they crowned him king. He hopes fleetingly, that the end result is different, this time.

______ _ _

"Has there been... Have you heard news of the others? Arya, Rickon, Bran?" Theon asks, tentative. If there was ever a time when news of them could be found, it was with their brother on the throne. He flinches a little when Jon's jaw clenches. 

______ _ _

"Rickon is dead. There's been no news of the others." He says at last.

______ _ _

Theon's eyes snap to his face again, incredulous. Little Rickon, hardly more than a baby when Theon saw him last. Jon must see the question on his face.

______ _ _

"Ramsay. Shot him before the battle. I tried to- I wasnt-." He trails off. There is nothing to say to that, really.

______ _ _

The memory of Robb is a gulf between them. It is the undercurrent of their every interaction, but the one topic they can't broach. Jon may have rescinded his previous threat, but Theon is very much unwilling to test that. 

______ _ _

But it's so obvious that Jon blames himself that Theon nearly risks it. Nearly says _I know you think you let him down. But Robb wouldn't want you to blame yourself _, as he's sure Robb would want him to.__

________ _ _ _ _

But before he can the wind carries a curious, rhythmic sound to them. Like a sail flapping in the wind. Jon cranes his head up, and his mouth twists into something approximating a grin.

________ _ _ _ _

"We'd best head back to the castle. The Queen's returning."

________ _ _ _ _

...

________ _ _ _ _

They walk toward the Castle together. The silence between them is still uncomfortable. It is unlikely that it will ever be otherwise, and Jon has not forgiven him. But he'd be lying if he said his anger hadnt cooled somewhat. It is impossible to maintain it after having seen the way Theon sank to his knees in relief at the news of Ramsay's death, the fear for Sansa when he thought she was in danger, the genuine sorrow at Rickon's death. The pain on his face when Jon first approached. Not fear, guilt. Jon can imagine what it was about. What Jon cannot imagine, nor does he want to, is what the past few years have been like for Theon. And the knowledge is sobering.

________ _ _ _ _

Jon has not forgiven him, but he thinks he could. He imagines Robb would be smug about that too.

________ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I was not planning on writing a part two, but here we are. I also wasn't planning on finishing it so quickly. This fic is the result of several things A) My unrelenting desire for literally anyone to tell Theon that Ramsay is dead B) My inability to believe that Jon went from threatening Theon to accepting him as a Stark with no interaction in the interim and C) some very nice comments on Part 1. 
> 
> There may or may not be a part three depending on inspiration, and whether or not anything interesting happens in the final season that leaves room for some writing.


End file.
